BEING MYSELF

I did not know what to write about until I saw this message in a Jacquie Lawson Birthday card for old people.  "BE yourself, everyone else is taken." Oscar Wilde

That is so true for me - I have always wanted to be someone else.  I grew up wanting to be a ballerina for the New York City ballet.  Imagine how ballerinas look, size, weight, etc.  a certain body type for sure.  Well, now imagine me taking ballet for six years 10 till 16 from a very sweet understanding teacher who saw my desire and ignored the rest.  I was not so short as just plain chubby.  My body type has always been drawn to overweight not dreadfully so than to thin or skinny.  I won't say I lack grace or the ability to move nicely, but chorus ballerina for the New York City Ballet -- NOT!

I've talked about some of my dreams that I had to let die.  That one was major.  Then I wanted to be a Carmel cloistered nun which meant I would never see my family again nor even be allowed to go to their funerals.  I thought I was willing, but not to break my mother's heart, I hesitated and the spot was filled by another girl.  So that dream of total prayer and contemplative life in and for Christ also died.  I am not so sorry since the life in Christ I have been given has been quite blessed and wonderful in a million ways.  Still there are days when knowing I would only have to pray and possibly clean and do laundry too, well such simplicity can appeal at times.

When my life turned around and I became much more dedicated to God's Word and I fell in love with Bible Studies.  I wanted to be Kay Arthur - founder with her husband, Jack, of Precept Ministries teaching the world how to study the Bible inductively.  She teaches and gets to go all over the world to speak and to writers' conferences and Christian seminars and takes a trip to Israel every year.  But the Lord would always chastise and remind me, "Annalou, I already have Kay Arthur, right now I need you to become the person I want YOU to be.  So listen up, obey, learn and grow!"

So even though I will be 75 in a couple of weeks - I am definitely still trying to do as my Dear Lord said.  I am trying to learn and grow every minute of every day He has decided to grant me.

I hope and pray that you all are also seeing our older years not as a hindrance or a problem or annoying and inconvenient at times with what I want or hope or plan to do, but rather as the amazing gift they actually are.  For some it grants us more time, maybe even more money therefore more opportunities than ever before to do or become anything we have ever dreamed or desired.