Names of God

to study the names of God has always been my most favorite thing to do.  A friend has given me a prayer book with 85 names of God - 85 - wow - and each one is more wonderful and more encouraging and more uplifting than the one before.  I mention it because I believe it is what has made these last doldrums only last a couple of days rather than weeks.  So back on top of my circumstances and loving life and the Lord as I should each day and thanking the Lord in every minute of it - I share El Emunah - The Faithful God - "your faithfulness convinces me that nothing can ever separate me from Your love.  I praise you, El Emunah, for the faithfulness that you revealed in writing and recording your Word for my instruction so that through endurance and the encouragment of your Scriptures, I might have hope,"  excerpted from PRAYING THE NAMES OF GOD by Tony Evans.

One can not stay down or in doldrums when we truly believe that God is faithful even when we are not and that He loves us even when we are unloveable.  To know and study God's Word on a daily basis or as close to that as possible is going to bring home to our hearts and mind all the TRUTH we are ever going to need to know.

Romans 8:38-39 is the source for knowing God loves us no matter what - "For I am convinced (am I really - I don't think so - certainly not when I let 'doldrums' get the best of me) that neither death, nor life (whether it's going good or bad or worse), nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created things, shall be able to separate us fromk the love of God, which is in CHRIST JESUS our LORD."

Oh that I would believe it, remember it and live it out before my circle of influence each and every day.  I pray I pray.

Under NOT Over

I hate it when I know I am struggling with my circumstances rather than at perfect peace in and in spite of them.  I never know when I am going to wake up to a "bad" day versus a "good" one.  I hate that I immediately go to self-pity or envy or wishing away a day - it is such a waste of precious time when I am in my twilight years.  I know the Lord has required me NOT to wish, want, will, wait or dare to question any of it anymore - so it is serious when I find myself in this place again.  It is to be out of sync with my most beloved Abba Father, my dear dear Lord and Savior, the lover of my soul, Jesus and without any of the Holy Spirit's power or comfort or help or healing.  Praying and staying on my knees in my mind all day long doesn't seem to change or make these stupid feelings go away either.  Yet, I have had times when I no sooner pray the prayer of mercy, forgiveness and relief and I literally feel all the doldrums just list up and away and they are gone.

I will trust that again though it is my second day of sensing things just are not the way they should be.  I know my dear family "worry" about my never remembering where I have put anything.  Once I put it down - it is GONE - and when I look for things - I NEVER find them - it is always my dear grandangel that finds them immediately.  I hate that I feel they may think it is time to put me away and yet I know they never would - but I also know that it is NOT that time and far far from it but I feel they don't agree.  It's me and my feelings that are the problem that I deal with - in truth my dear daughter and grandangels do nothing but love and respect and honor me at all times.   Well they get a little frustrated but then not as much as I already am.  I dare not say I "wish" - rather just pray and pray that this too will pass and tomorrow when I awake this feeling will be gone and a sense of HOPE and WONDER will be back and all will be well.