Thanksgiving Day

Surely thankful for so many things and so much it would take pages and pages but surely most for being privileged to be a child of God, a true Christian who puts Christ first and foremost above all else in or out of this world and all its universes.  Still though finding the need to ask forgiveness almost every minute for daring to want more - more of this world to enjoy and sad to see myself so worldly tempted.  Watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade and "wanting" to go to every Broadway play they showed us or to go to New York for Christmas to see the Rockettes or this or that - I mean it's pitiful and I could go on and on - but why do I even go there at all - knowing the Dear Lord has blessed me a million times over with so many out of the world blessings and things that can't be bought or made without His power, blessing, mercy and grace.  So both thankful and begging mercy and forgiveness at the same time.  May the Dear Lord send a sense of gratitude to all.  May we think of our sweet Jehovah and our great El Elyon.

Names of God

to study the names of God has always been my most favorite thing to do.  A friend has given me a prayer book with 85 names of God - 85 - wow - and each one is more wonderful and more encouraging and more uplifting than the one before.  I mention it because I believe it is what has made these last doldrums only last a couple of days rather than weeks.  So back on top of my circumstances and loving life and the Lord as I should each day and thanking the Lord in every minute of it - I share El Emunah - The Faithful God - "your faithfulness convinces me that nothing can ever separate me from Your love.  I praise you, El Emunah, for the faithfulness that you revealed in writing and recording your Word for my instruction so that through endurance and the encouragment of your Scriptures, I might have hope,"  excerpted from PRAYING THE NAMES OF GOD by Tony Evans.

One can not stay down or in doldrums when we truly believe that God is faithful even when we are not and that He loves us even when we are unloveable.  To know and study God's Word on a daily basis or as close to that as possible is going to bring home to our hearts and mind all the TRUTH we are ever going to need to know.

Romans 8:38-39 is the source for knowing God loves us no matter what - "For I am convinced (am I really - I don't think so - certainly not when I let 'doldrums' get the best of me) that neither death, nor life (whether it's going good or bad or worse), nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created things, shall be able to separate us fromk the love of God, which is in CHRIST JESUS our LORD."

Oh that I would believe it, remember it and live it out before my circle of influence each and every day.  I pray I pray.

Under NOT Over

I hate it when I know I am struggling with my circumstances rather than at perfect peace in and in spite of them.  I never know when I am going to wake up to a "bad" day versus a "good" one.  I hate that I immediately go to self-pity or envy or wishing away a day - it is such a waste of precious time when I am in my twilight years.  I know the Lord has required me NOT to wish, want, will, wait or dare to question any of it anymore - so it is serious when I find myself in this place again.  It is to be out of sync with my most beloved Abba Father, my dear dear Lord and Savior, the lover of my soul, Jesus and without any of the Holy Spirit's power or comfort or help or healing.  Praying and staying on my knees in my mind all day long doesn't seem to change or make these stupid feelings go away either.  Yet, I have had times when I no sooner pray the prayer of mercy, forgiveness and relief and I literally feel all the doldrums just list up and away and they are gone.

I will trust that again though it is my second day of sensing things just are not the way they should be.  I know my dear family "worry" about my never remembering where I have put anything.  Once I put it down - it is GONE - and when I look for things - I NEVER find them - it is always my dear grandangel that finds them immediately.  I hate that I feel they may think it is time to put me away and yet I know they never would - but I also know that it is NOT that time and far far from it but I feel they don't agree.  It's me and my feelings that are the problem that I deal with - in truth my dear daughter and grandangels do nothing but love and respect and honor me at all times.   Well they get a little frustrated but then not as much as I already am.  I dare not say I "wish" - rather just pray and pray that this too will pass and tomorrow when I awake this feeling will be gone and a sense of HOPE and WONDER will be back and all will be well.

Sweet Stroke

one of my dearest sisters in Christ - an angel of the earth to me in my life - loved by everyone who has the privilege of knowing her - has recently faced some very harsh trials in her life.  She found out one of her sons has cancer - then she and her daughter planned a trip to see him - it meant flying, which is always a hassle for my dearest since she uses a cane and her legs are week when she has to sit and get up - and anyway - air ports are what they are - so just imagine.  Well the trip to her son went well - though I cannot even imagine the heart ache she and her daughter had to endure in that bittersweet visit to see their son/brother.

They planned the trip to have her daughter come home for her work, but put her mother on another flight - by herself - to her other son in FL to give her a week of rest and be there for Labor Day festivities when her grandson would be able to accompany her home.  All went well there too for the first few days and then my dearest had a stroke.  So she spent her next week in a rehab facility having to go through PT each day.

Anyway when I finally reached her on her cell phone she sounded wonderful and really younger and more vibrant than ever before.  There was no speech impediments, no loss of words to say or thoughts to put together and she said she was getting around very well - only diffrence was she had to graduate from a cane to a walker.  She loves the walker because it has pockets everywhere.

Once again we were just thanking and praising and rejoicing in our Dear Lord and Abba Father.  Our Jehovah Rapha who heals and our Jehovah Jireh who not only provided the walker but also a half rail for her bed which makes it so much easier for her to get up and out each morning.  I told her that the Lord loves her so much He had sent her the "sweetest stroke" I had ever known anyone to have to suffer through.  She just laughed.  Yep, my sweet friend as right as rain and as much her loving, happy, laughing angel as ever.  Rejoice I say, rejoice and again I say REJOICE!

Can, Would, Does God ever forsake us? NO

Can, Would, Does God ever Forsake us? NO

Heard about a friend who lost his house, job, a few rElatives and feels a bit "forsaken" by the Lord.  I can understand that completely even to the point of asking someone just how do we NOT feel forsaken when it all comeS down at once and then it just keeps on coming or so it seems?

My wise friend said to trust the Lord is still in control and still loves us and so all that He allows to come our way is and will be for our GOOD.  This is the truth we know and the verse we have all memorized, Romans 8:28: "We know that all things work together for good to them, who love God, to them who are called according to His purpose."    We know it - I even believe it - truly I do - but always applying it to my situation and wondering how my dear friend is going to be able to apply it to his - well it's just plain HARD.

I try not to allow my frustration and possibly anger at myself for getting into debt and losing my home and having to spend so much of my limited income to settle it away,  but because I did it to myself then I never can think the Lord asks too much.  In fact for me - obviously, His mercy is everlasting and His lovingkindness overwhelms me every day.  It might be when my dearest sister in the Lord calls to let me know she feels she should give me a little for this; little for that;   and then she helps me out here and helps me out there.  I also have my dear sister,  who responds the moment I make a need known and very generously so.

But I know there are times that we all go through what St. John of the Cross called a DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL.  I guess we just have to hold onto our faith, our memories of all the times He has made Himself known to us in a mighty way, cling to our hope and trust that just as His Word reminds us "...it will work together for good."  His good, His will not often the same as I want it to be, but to be His child, to be obedient, to trust Him completely - well there you have it - that's really our only choice in the matter.

I pray the Dear Lord embraces my friend and that all the sad/forsaken feelings are washed away by God loving embrace in a way that human words cannot even express.

In His Name

I know many Christians, including myself, who have thought that doing a "ministry" or fulfilling my "purpose" as a Christian-doing God's will-should/had to be an actual furthering the Kingdom of God type thing: i.e. witnessing, missionary work, church work, etc.  It has taken me years to figure out that absolutely everything I do each day is "my" ministry.  When I was raising my daughter and she was young, I had to do for her and take care of her - that was all my "ministry" at that time - when she become a teen and demanded not only taking care of  needs, but a bit more input , more being there, more checking in and that too was all part of my "Ministry".

My favorite book that taught me this fact is PRACTICING THE PRESENCE OF GOD by Brother Lawrence.  I had a little pamphlet that cost me $.25 and can't find it now, boohoo, because it costs $5 and more in all the possible places to find it now.  Still worth it and definitely worth the read.

When I was trying to be a stay at home mom with Mary Gentry, I started an ASK ANNALOU service.  I was always writing so I called that portion of it HIS WORDSMITH and I wanted all of it including this blog to come under the heading IN HIS NAME.  It is very important to me at the end of every day to check and see if I had been faithfully in the center of HIS WILL never my own that whole day.  

One more absolutely frustrating thing about getting old is trying to figure out each day just what I should or should not be doing and I am not talking about sinful stuff - not to say I don't have to worry about that too - thought wise, feeling wise, interacting with everyone wise - but just getting up in the morning and knowing or hoping to know just what the day holds forth and just what choices I should make to fulfill it IN HIS NAME and in HIS WILL.  Is isn't easy, trust me.  There are days that are half gone or more and I still haven't figured it out - God forgive me.  I wake up and beg God to will me out of the bed.  He does and off I go.  I do better when I plan to accomplish if not three things at least get one or two things on the list so I can mark them DONE.  If that is all that I do that day I still go to bed at peace and say it was a good day.  On the days I don't accomplish one of the list items if I have faithfully done what my regular daily chores are and NOT COMPLAINED in my heart about it - such as dishes into the dishwasher and dishes out and then dishes waiting in the sink to do it ALL OVER AGAIN.  I count that as my accomplishment IN HIS NAME for that day and still go to bed in perfect peace.  Honestly - I really do and feel just fine about it too.

God bless to all and may today be filled with great adventures and exciting events all to experience and accomplish IN HIS NAME. 

God's favorite face to me

God's favorite face to me

It has been too long since I have been able to visit the ocean and walk along the beach.  When I lived in Jupiter, FL I lived off a road that passed the Jupiter Lighthouse and crossed an Intracoastal waterway bridge no matter where my destination was that day.  I remember those mornings when I would be way way under my circumstances and time seemed as if it had gone on forever, but just looking at the water and seeing that Lighthouse over my shoulder and it all seemed to feel better.  It almost made it seem that just the scenery was enough to make all the problems disappear.

Well it wasn't enough and the problems didn't disappear and then they got worse when I not only lost my job but I had to move away from the ocean and the lighthouse and that scenery that can salve my soul and soothe my heart as no other can.

Living near mountains or in the foothills just doesn't do it for me.  It helps to see a sunset when I can find a place to let it through and time it right to be there then, but it is never like being able to go to the ocean's edge and feel the sand beneath my feet give way or let the waves slap my feet.

Oh well, a picture is worth a 1000 words so lets just gaze and wish our lives away.  I know we shouldn't and it won't one bit of difference, but for the next few minutes, Dear Lord, please forgive me if I do it anyway.