IF JESUS CAME TODAY

I was thinking.  What if  Jesus had chosen to come today for His FIRST time.  What would we have done?.  And apart from it being a crucifixion - I am sad to say that I believe we would have done the very same thing.  We would have destroyed Him anyway we could.

Atheists would say there is no God therefore there can be no Son of God.

Self Righteous religions or individuals who follow there own concepts of the God they like to obey     and follow - the one who agrees with what they say is "right" or "wrong" would argue with Him when He called sin sin and, in truth, would take great offense at Him when He dared to say He would forgive someone of their sins when they confess and repent.   Heaven knows the rage He would cause when He continued to say He would judge and condemn those who don't.

Prideful or rich people, who like to be in control and think they are, would try to woo Him at first but once He condemned them in their thinking and their practices, they would quickly join the rabble that were plotting to get rid of Him.

Others would agree with philosophers and writers, who over the years, have not wanted to dismiss Him entirely but allow Him a little bit of recognition as a great teacher, speaker or motivator.  But they too in their hearts would still not consider Him anymore important than any other prophet of history or philosopher of old.

And the rest of us being the "most of humanity" would fall into two categories:  true believers and followers and the rest, who just could not care one way or the other, would pay no attention to Him at all.

I hope, pray and want to believe that we, who call ourselves TRUE believers, would be willing to follow Him no matter the cost and would cry out His Name and our praises at all times.  I do sometime picture myself being able to actually physically be with Him to sit at His feet as Mary did and to really listen and hear the sound of His voice and to look into His eyes as He gazes back into mine.  If time travel ever happens that is the trip I would like to take.

I can't imagine what type of death He would have had to devise to do as He did when He did come. Then He chose the most excruciating, cruelest form of death possible - dying on a cross.  I doubt the gas chamber or hanging would be enough - that is not the point.  The point is - I do believe - as sad as it is to believe, consider or dare to say - we would do the very same thing today as they chose to do over 2000 years ago.  We too would ignore His words and kill Him.

Don't you Just Love People

As much as I "hate" to go to work on Sunday instead of church is maybe as much as I "love" to be at Target handing out samples to the shoppers.  This is because I am a people watcher.  I really do "love" people, each and everyone and proclaim an amazing God of Creation that I know designed them all.  "For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made...Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Thy book they were all written. The days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them." (Psalm 139:13-14;16).

A couple passed by this past weekend and the woman had one of those men's haircuts that many women are sporting these days and the man's hair was long enough to cover the back of his neck. My mind's thought immediately was "what is wrong with that picture?"  I asked the Lord to forgive my prejudice, bigotry, "old fashioness", judgmental attitude-whatever.  As always this getting old but thinking like I'm still in my twenties can trip me up and usually does a lot.  It is just things like women loving long hair to flip and attract men and men having short hair looking strong and confident was the norm for most of my life.  I know, I know it is "behind the times."

That is my point - so much is lost even though so much more has been gained in so many areas.  I do understand and yet I don't.  It is just one more part of the conundrum of old age.

The point of this sharing post is to say that I no sooner thought my first thought about the couple then to move quickly to my next which is simply this.  I do "love" people and it dawned on me watching that couple pass by how much more God loves people and knows exactly who He created and why He wanted them to be exactly who they are.  He is the one who knows their frame, their personalities and what choices and preferences will be theirs all their lives.  He loves them to the point of offering His own most beloved Son to die for them so that they could come and dwell with Him forever in eternity.

So it also dawned on me that because God is the one who chooses and decides how to make each of us unique and individually different, we must "love" everyone in that same way.  Not to be able to help them have eternal life, but to let them be just who they are no matter how it may differ with what we like or suppose is right or wrong.  I am talking about personality, flesh choices not moral or spiritual ones.  We have a Bible that tells us what to think about those things and I do believe if you hold yourself accountable to that precious book then we should all agree on most issues in those pages, i.e. "Thou shalt murder, steal, covet...etc."

But my deciding what I think about a couple based on their haircuts or kids because they listen to the "noise" they call music versus the "music" I listen to...well it is obvious there will be a wide chasm of differences.  I was listening to a documentary on Frank Sinatra and my 18 year old grand angel asked who that was and then very simply stated, "he can't even sing."  True, true she actually said it.  I think that sums it up pretty well.

I do want to leave with this - I still do "love" that couple and all the other fun, interesting and amusing people who pass by all day long on weekends at Target.  So many life stories I am dying to know being the "curiosity kills the cat" type that I am.

CONSIDERING

I've noticed in all my latest comments on Facebook or in my prayers at night that I seem to be obsessed with the fact that my life is going by way too fast.  So the question, of course, must be what can I do about it?

Honestly I haven't a clue!  I mean is there anything anyone can do about the clock of the world or our lives from ticking down seconds, minutes, hours and days? No!  Well at least I have never seen such an answer or solution so far.

Then, the next question I must ask is what can I do in spite of this particular problem.  Again, honestly I haven't a clue.  But because I seem to be obsessed with thinking about it anyway then I feel I must at least try to find some solutions.

First, I am already doing the one that does work in and through all situations that come our way and we are helpless to  stop them or avoid them or ignore them.  I always give Elisabeth Elliot credit for this.  Once asked after her husband, Jim Elliot's tragic death, what would she do.  Her answer was simply, "the next thing."  I have learned a whole life lesson from that answer.  She meant, at that time, she would do dishes if they were dirty or play with her daughter, Valerie, when she cried for attention.  But in truth, it meant much more than that, since Elisabeth and Rachel Saint spent years afterward continuing those men's calling to that tribe and it became all Christian by their selfless choice and God's divine providence.  Some of those martyr's grandchildren continue to live in Ecuador and minister still to those people today.

My "next thing" is never quite that important, but still I find great peace and consolation when I put dishes in and dishes out of a dishwasher over and over again that if this is the ONLY "next thing" my life allows me to do, then I pray that I do it in God's Will and for His honor and glory.  I pray that if it is done in that way and for that reason, then even that mundane task will at least have made my day worth something and not just a "waste" of my precious, fleeting time.

NEW YEAR 2016 - UGH

If you ask me - I feel as if I had just gone to bed after the ball dropped on Time Square a year ago.  I am totally miffed and terribly upset that a whole year is already gone again...again!  UGH double UGH.

But let me at least consider all that has happened and of course be GRATEFUL for and in it all.      My family remains happy, loving, laughing and close at hand.  My older, sweet angel granddaughter is planning on moving to California and the date is happening/coming sooner and faster than we want but my daughter raised her two girls to be independent and free to be themselves and so they are.  Oh boy are they and fascinating and wonderful and accomplished and responsible and...

I had needed/desired a new computer and Microsoft Word since I do not like any of the free "word" programs out there and now Microsoft's free one only lasts for 3 months and then they will start to charge.  But as always the Dear Lord loves me so and lets my daughter and granddaughters love me so that they gave me both - my daughter shared her bonus with me and got me a great new HP computer that also had a free printer in the package and then for Christmas she and dear grand angel, Karissa, gave me Microsoft Office so I am all set to start and discipline my writing in everything I need to be writing.

I begin with the blog and must be more faithful in sharing my bemoanings and groanings about aging and just what a bummer it can be.  But also a wonderful blessing and the best truth of it all - I'm still here and still healthy and still going and moving and doing and loving and enjoying and appreciating and hoping hoping hoping each and every day for miracles of any and all kinds.

Most of all I am still able to serve and am privileged to do so by leading a Bible Study and going through the Gospels with my ladies verse by verse.  Still meet with my prayer ladies and help to fold our church bulletins for Sunday and get to share "what the Lord has done" in our lives.  Any chance to testify to the Lord Jesus Christ and His presence, His love, His intervention, His miracles every day of our lives is a good and fun and wonderful way to spend each day.

Still hate two things about being this old - one my mind just still doesn't quite get it or accept it or think it - I mean I still feel as if I am as young as ever I was - but I hate it when truth hits and I realize but I'm NOT.  I also hate that as I began this post - time is whizzing by faster and faster and faster...

I need it to stop - I need so many more hours each day - midnight comes and I have so much more to do that I just want to scream - no - hands on the clock - turn back turn back turn back.

Here's to a great New Year with more hours in every day and all my plans to be fulfilled by me if I'm the one who needs to make it happen and by God's miracles that are definitely needed to make any of it happen too.

What Was I Meant to Do

A very short time before my dear Mama passed away, she asked me to read a phrase in one of her prayers.  She began her day ended her days on her knees by her bedside until she died at 88.  The phrase stated something like "when you have finished the work you were meant to do, then I will bring you home and you will have sweet rest."

"Annalou", she asked, what do you think I am supposed to do, since He has not let me go yet?"

Needless to say, I hadn't a clue.  "Well, Mama, you have been a very successful wife, mother, friend, thespian, leader in your own circle of influence - all of these things.  And at 88, I don't know that there is much else you were 'meant to do' that you haven't done."

"Then why hasn't He taken me home?"  Of course, to that I could honestly say "maybe because He knows your children are not ready to be here without you."

But I am going through the same sort of thinking lately.  I just have a sense of what should I really be doing every day?  And I have always wanted to have found something that defined me and could have earned a living for me that would not have left me destitute in these twilight years.  I did not finish college because I foolishly thought at the time, "I don't know what I want to do, but I know I do NOT want to teach."  Years later, after I became a Born Again Christian, I began teaching Sunday School classes to 6th grade girls and as I became more of a student of the Word, Bible Studies to the adult ladies and found that the gift God had given me was teaching.  I also have been writing ever since my elementary school days and know that I am also a gifted writer by His perfect design.  Yet I never got published enough to really claim that for myself and since I did not finish college when the time came and as a single parent I had to work forever I was already in a secretarial mode and so it goes.

Since I am still having to work - I am still wishing writing would earn enough - it doesn't - not enough writing - but I am going to pursue more - still that doesn't actually answer my restlessness or convince me that I have happened upon the real purpose our Sovereign God, who as Ephesians 2:10 states: "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto goodworks, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them."

And if it is meant to be more writing then I am really needing a miracle of a new and equipped computer since this one is slowly dying and it is God's most mercifully, lovingkindness that keeps reviving it for me so that I can continue to do what needs to be done.

But I will pray pray pray and possibly fast fast fast in hopes the Dear Lord will reveal all to me and I will have a sense of knowing as I now hope and pray and trust at the end of each day, I am doing exactly what I am supposed to do and that He is pleased with and in it all.

OBSOLETE

Climbing up into my "truck" an old Dodge Durango a church member donated to the church and they graciously gave to me.  It has no AC/Heat, needed new tires immediately, sometime does not get into gear right away so am so grateful for people behind who don't rear end me, but the Lord has let it get me where I need to go and helped us out when we needed a car for one reason or another because we are a three car household with only two cars.  I thank the Lord for giving it, letting it start, letting me get where I am going and not letting anyone get hurt inside or out every time I get in it.  So far so good.

Anyway - it is a 1999 car so not exactly obsolete but close - but it wasn't that which made me think of obsolete it was my cassette player that the Lord made sure was in it when I got it since I am still listening to cassettes and watching VHS video movies hoping the dual player will continue to work and thanking Walmart for selling the CD/Cassette boombox still.

Living with my 17 year old granddaughter I am well aware of those things that are "obsolete" or even no even known by her generation.  We have discussions that really bring "obsolete" home to me in the different way the young people think these days.  So much of my values and my considerations of life and let's not even begin to go to memory lane - well to her - it is defintely obsolete.  Webster's Dictionary (even that could be considered obsolete - well at least the old one we never lived without and always had handy on the shelf - never out of reach - says obsolete means "no longer used because something newer exists : replaced by something newer : no longer used by anyone".

Really I am tearing up to think of so many wonderful things and experiences of my past that my dear grand angel would consider OBSOLETE.  A pay phone  - I was wanting one just the other day to call one of these funny "money" letters I get all the time just to see what they might actually say.  I am too paranoid to use my cell phone for fear they may be able to find out who I actually am or whatever they may want to know about me - but if I called from a pay phone what would they know from the number - NOTHING - sits at corner of or out in front of Walmart - well I wish there was a pay phone anywhere at all.  So far haven't found one yet - obsolete.

Three young but very smart people on Jeopardy - who seem to know a bunch of stuff - were shown a picture of Gregory Peck and hadn't a clue who it was.  I was trying to explain that we had an even better experience than an IMAX theatre with what began as Todd-AO which then became Panavision 70.  I was trying to help her visualize how we literally were in the midst of the chariots as they came rushing around corners in Ben Hur and almost were as afraid as the Israelites as the Red Sea water rose up on each side as we slowly walked across.  Both by daughter and my granddaughter refuse to believe that it could have been any better than IMAX.  I am really wondering why that had to become OBSOLETE when they turn right around make something not quite as spectacular.

There are so many this could go on forever and already has - so am not even going to go to my feelings about us "old" folks.  I mean we can never be "replaced" per se.  It will never be that sad, but the most moving article I ever read on old age was about how we are "invisible" and if - like me - I did turn a few heads in my younger days - it is very noticeable that I certainly don't anymore.  I do want to say and applaud those young people or any age people who do notice or still have that chivalrous (bet that word is obsolete to many young people too) spirit and they will open a door or offer to lean down and pick something up for me.  I truly do appreciate it, but in an over all view, and for all those who sit alone in their assisted living homes, we truly can be invisible but hopefully we will never be OBSOLETE!

FAITH and HOPE

I want to always pray believing because scripture mentions so many times that the Lord, Jesus, said "your faith has made you well."  The woman believed He could heal her by only touching His hem.  She was right - immediately He felt her and turned to tell her she was healed after 18 years and spending all her resources in ways that had not worked,  Finally she sought the one true source of all hope and healing.  Another woman being a gentile still sought out Jesus and begged Him to cast a demon out of her daughter, but He put her off by telling her he would tend to his own first saying "...in is not good to take the childrens' bread and throw it to the dogs." But her hope and faith in Christ was too strong to be discouraged and she replied, "Yes, Lord, but even the dogs under his table will feed on the childrens' crumbs."  His reply was to compliment her answer which was her invincible faith and hope to see her daughter well again.  And so it was.

This is how I pray - always - at least I try - always to pray BELIEVING it is answered and it is done.  The hard part for me, of course, is agreeing to let it be God's will and God's answer and if that is not always the same as I wish it to be - then to still rejoice and accept no matter what.  Still I begin by praying exactly what my need or desire of my heart may be and in FAITH and  HOPE eternal I look for the answer each and every day.

My debt situation is not gone - the life I want to have for my twilight years which are well upon me are not quite as I imagined - but with regard to very specific prayers and ones I pray continually God is very faithful and gracious and merciful and forgiving and wonderful to answer perfectly.

I am moved to pray not for any of the debt nonsense to go away as much as I am praying for it not to be my every waking thought.

This is the prayer He is truly answering.  I really am not worried, anxious or even thinking about any of it at all.  I do consider the bills at hand for the month, but must do that in order to be sure to pay them.

The time I enjoy most in my day is to be reading His Living Word or a Christian Life based book for growth or to make a card for a friend or to be talking to sisters in the Lord to encourage and to enjoy my latest Bible Study which is really a great one.  Life is truly a joy and my life is richly blessed.  I must always be most grateful to the Lord's lovingkindness in every second of every day.